Archive for the ‘Magazines’ Category

Posted at April 17, 2012 by Comments Off

Waka Flocka Flame covers Spin Magazine

I don't read Spin Magazine, but Waka Flocka Flame is on the cover. I always talk about wanting a grill, but I think I like the idea of having a grill more so than I would actually like having one. When I saw Waka's cover, this is what it reminded me of: Unfortunately, Waka's Fozzie Bear was no where to be found in his cover, unlike Britney and her Teletubby.

Guess which rapper lied about the XXL Freshmen list…

Yo girl called this one. No one cares anymore, but last week XXL Magazine released their annual Freshmen list, and more colorful than that was Chip the Ripper's little Twitter rant about how he turned his spot down. Allegedly. XXL Editor in Chief Vanessa Satten and Jayson Rodriguez, and possibly some other person, were on the Hot 97 morning show with Cipha Sounds and Peter Rosenberg last week. Vanessa Satten, who still has a job despite the fact that the magazine, under her watch, posted that video of Too Short giving fatherly advice to middle school boys that they should finger bang girls, confirmed what I suspected all along: that Chip never got his invitation. My initial response to Chip not even being asked to do the cover was, "hahahahahahahahaha" (times 20). In fact, I was going to use that as the blog post title, but that wouldn't help me my SEO. Anyway, to be honest, I watched both of these videos because I was curious about how they chose who to be on the cover. Sure, they spent a bulk of their time talking about qualifications or whatnot, but I felt like I wasn't anymore educated on what it takes to be a XXL Freshmen by the end of this interview.

Posted at March 08, 2012 by Comments Off
Category : Jokes,Magazines,News
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Thoughts on the #XXLFreshmen2012 cover that no one seems to care about anymore

And just like that, no one cares about this anymore. Yesterday, it occupied my twitter timeline more aggressively than any of the Occupy Wall Street protestors, and today, I see no whisper of it on my Twitter timeline. I'm writing about it mostly because I wrote nearly this whole post yesterday. Anywho, the yearly Freshmen issue, where XXL Magazine editors or whoever chooses a certain number of so-called Freshmen, is what keeps the magazine relevant, despite the fact that it really isn't that relevant (just examine the inductees each year). I don't really have too much to say about this cover, mostly because I work now, compared to the time when last year's cover dropped, so I don't have time to wake up at 11 every day and stay up until 2 AM making a whiny blog post about who should or shouldn't have been included. I only know who Machine Gun Kelly is because of that Lex Luger-produced song "Wild Boy" that makes me want to go start riots and burn stuff. But, let's be honest, the Fat Trel version is way better (why isn't Fat Trel on this list?). Danny Brown is a thirty year old Freshman. He's actually super dope, and I'm glad he's getting recognized, but it just goes to show how XXL Magazine truly has no guidelines or limitations on who can or can't be considered a "Freshman." That was my issue with last year's list, and that'll probably be my issue next year. Whenever I list to Future, I feel like I'm listening to a language immersion program CD. To what language, I don't know. Roscoe Dash is my favorite robotic hook man, having some of the more memorable hooks throughout the last year. I don't think I could handle ...

Posted at February 29, 2012 by Comments Off

GQ names Chris Brown as the worst dressed man on the planet

Surprisingly, I don't think that look he donned for the Larry King show was featured on the list, but that goofy bowtie is now the epitome of Chris Breezy in my mind. From GQ.com, because it's zing, after zing, after zing: For someone who seems to have so much disposable income - he boasts on one track about spending "15 grand on a phone" and charged over $500 for meet-and-greets on his last tour - Brown seems utterly adverse to investing in tailoring, combining the worst excesses of XXL sizing with a penchant for deeply unflattering costumes. They have a point. I could argue and say that Lil Wayne is the worst dressed male on the planet, since he's been wearing snowboard boots, but I think he purposely tries to dress like a weirdo (and succeeds), whereas Chris Breezy is trying to look cool. You can see GQ's slideshow of 25 photos that more than demonstrates why he's the worst dressed in the world. And get some laughs.

Posted at February 04, 2012 by Comments Off
Category : Magazines,News
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Danny Brown is not a Mac Miller fan

This is why I love Danny Brown. As I previously mentioned, he is going to be touring with Childish Gambino next year. It's an interesting duo that I wouldn't have guessed, but I'm not mad at that. Childish Gambino was great when I saw him in Portland. Monica Herrera interviewed Danny Brown for Rolling Stone, and she's right--Gambino's album was polarizing. I haven't written about it, and since it's nearing the end of the year, I probably won't, but it really felt like it was missing the fun that initially drew me to his music to begin with, and I didn't love Camp. It sounds like Danny Brown was somewhat of the same opinion as me on Camp. Here's the excerpt from the interview: album was pretty polarizing. How did you feel about it? I listened to it. Hey, it’s better than Mac Miller’s. That’s my response. It’s better than Mac Miller’s. He’s the worst guy around. Don’t get me started. His album cover is like, 'Ugh, what is this?' He’s trying to be artistic, huh? It is pretty abstract. If I see him, I’m just going to have to apologize to him, like, 'Man, I just want to apologize for hating you so much. Because I’m not going to stop. You’re probably a cool guy. I don’t feel violent in any way, but I really hate you. I hate your music, man.' It’s just bad. Amazing. What else can I say? One of the many reasons I love Danny Brown. I haven't listened to Mac Miller, so I'm not really in a position to hate on him. I've seen ...

Posted at December 21, 2011 by Comments Off
Category : Magazines,News
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Gossip, gossip just stop it: the XXL Magazine 2012 Freshmen list leaked

Here's an alleged leak listing the 2012 Freshmen for XXL Magazine. The memo doesn't look very well written, listing the same subject twice practically. But who cares? I couldn't get hired for a job with my writing skills, so companies obviously don't care even though my English professors lied and said they did. Anyway, this is by far the most anticipated issue of the year for everyone, including myself. 2011's list was disappointing, and if this is real, so is 2012. I haven't even heard of 4 of them, let alone listened to 11 of them. Wack attack. Just watch, I'll love every single one I haven't listened to. Besides wack artists being chosen for the list, it annoys me how vague XXL is about what defines a "Freshman," so they should define it. For example, Stalley is signed to Maybach Music Group and has released multiple mixtapes, including a rerelease of Lincoln Way Nights. Dom Kennedy has been on tour forever, it seems, or more specifically is constantly touring, and has released multiple paid projects in addition to mixtapes. XV's song "Awesome" was featured in a Verizon Wireless commercial. I'm pretty sure that Say It Ain't Tone is the weed carrier to Kanye West's weed carrier, i.e. he's part of Big Sean's posse. Chip Tha Ripper has been doing his thing for a hot minute, too. And I have to wonder, did they purposefully misspell Kreayshawn's name? There aren't really any unifying factors, at least that I can see, between the artists that would indicate the factors needed to be considered one of XXL's Freshmen. Past issues have not given me any more insight about the qualities that an artist needs in order to be chosen for this list. Some notable names missing ...

Posted at December 07, 2011 by Comments Off
Category : Jokes,Magazines,Rumors
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Just kidding, the GQ Man of the Year’s Occupy All Streets shirts have been restocked

FALSE ALARM! Everyone can breathe easy now! It turns out those shirts weren't pulled because they were done in bad taste, or tacky, or ugly. Instead, they were just sold out and have since been restocked, so now you, too, can look like an ignorant supporter of the OWS movement without actually supporting it. I wrote about this the other day, and said that they way Hov and Rocawear went about these shirt was the epitome of capitalism at its worst, and I still stand by that. People are protesting the greedy corporation, and with bank executives taking tax payer bonuses while people who had no business whatsoever owning a house to begin with are losing their houses. I was going to make the claim that Rocawear profiting from a social movement isn't terribly different from what those big bad corporations are doing, but yeah, not really. The feeling of entitlement annoys me, and I'm not saying I'm immune from it myself. I don't think it's right for people to just expect a handout from Rocawear, just like I don't think it's right for people to automatically feel entitled to government handouts on my dime as a taxpayer. Overall, the fact that he's profiting off a social movement irks me. The overwhelming feel of entitlement irks me, too, just like the rampant ignorance irks me, too. I kind of doubt that most of the people who are buying this are aware of how he's milking the movement, and they are making the very 1% who they're protesting against richer? I doubt they're buying the shirt because it's looks cool. Let's face it, the shirt is fugly. Semi-related, I really don't like what the OWS movement has become. I never paid that much attention to ...

Posted at November 14, 2011 by 2 Comments

Lil Wayne gives me the LOLz today

To go along with my hypothesis that no one reads magazines anymore, and only cares about posting the covers on their respective blogs, here's Weezy, the Young Money General? Lieutenant? Commander? gracing the front of Vibe looking like a hot mess (emphasis being on 'mess,' not 'hot'). I'm so glad that I dressed up as him for Halloween before he got exponentially more tattoos. Even though Vibe is running the interview, Complex Magazine released some quotes from said interview that made me cackle to myself. Maybe my internet sleuthing skills are slacking, along with my blogging, but I thought it weird that Complex dropped the quotes instead of Vibe. Then again, maybe the issue on newsstands? I really don't know. On Watch The Throne: I haven't heard the album. I'll probably never hear the album. On Nicki Minaj: I'm not satisfied with anything she's done. I believe she can do a whole lot more, and I believe she will do a whole lot more. It's not shocking, and it's not surprising. It's quite fitting. But other than that, it's nowhere near the end. On Drake: That's my artist. He is not a friend. We're more than friends. It's business. It would be impossible for it to be a competition. I mean, I'm the guy's boss. On dealing with the tabloids: You don't deal with it. You deal with life. You deal with what's really going on and what's really real—that's your four kids, that's your mother, that's your family, that's the people around you. You don't deal with what people are saying. I don't blame him for not wanting to listen to Watch The Throne, but like, how can you not go places and ...

Posted at October 27, 2011 by Comments Off
Category : Jokes,Magazines,News
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Drake proves true the adage that a picture is worth a thousand words

Rawr. Drake covers the Power 30 issue of The Source, whatever that means. I don't read The Source so I don't know if this is truly a recurring issue. For that matter, do people even read magazines anymore? Or just post the covers on their blogs? I guess that would be cool to add to your resume that you made The Source's (is that the correct way to italicize it?) list of the Power 30, but everyone who I would potentially be sending a resume to at this point in my life would be totally and utterly clueless. Insurance people. I'm gonna pretend that Drake is not mad corny, and that he just has a really great sense of humor. Just look at that mug. Drake is kind of growing on me, and I never thought that would happen. I also never thought I'd be working for my parents, so I guess this is a year of surprises. He seems funny, and I like funny people. And by "a picture is worth a thousand words," you know I meant typing "ha" 1000 times, right?

Posted at October 26, 2011 by 1 Comment
Category : Jokes,Magazines,News
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